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Throw in a demonic genie statue that grants wishes, but makes them come true with a bad twist, and soon enough, Max has to deal with an evil UNDEAD ex- girlfriend. Movie starts after the main character, Max (Anton Yelchin) wakes up from a nightmare only to find that his apartment is filled with girls that his half- brother, Travis (Oliver Cooper) invited. Seems that someone is pretending to live in Max’s apartment, just to get the chicks there for him to get freaky with, if you know what I mean. Max’s environment crazy, vegetarian girlfriend Evelyn (Ashley Greene) wakes up and throws the girls out of the apartment. I guess we all know who wears the pants in their relationship. While you still can!)Max works at Bloody Mary’s boutique; a 3. Halloween store. He wants to have his own business, Max’s Scare Shack, but so far that hasn’t happened. His girlfriend is not supportive and thinks that horror movies and stuff are a waste of time. He says that horror helps people face their inner monsters and find the strength to defeat them. She did meet Max after her mom died, and he did help her cope with it, but she still thinks it’s a waste of time. Sounds like someone needs to get rid of that stinker and get with a thinker! OK, I’ll stop now. Soon after, a strange statue arrives at the store. They sell Halloween stuff year round. What could possibly go wrong? Max and Evelyn have sex where he works, and then she messes with the demon genie, because who wouldn’t mess around with an evil statue? She “accidentally” makes a wish, which will come back with dire, albeit hilarious, consequences for both because this is a horror comedy. This is the typical “Monkey’s Paw” scenario. Be careful what you wish for and All That Jazz. Speaking of jazz, for you music buffs that are just dying to know, “Burying the Ex” features songs by Jr. Juggernaut, The Kobanes, Far Too Loud, Chantal Clarent and Herman Stein. You’re welcome. Afterwards, they go to I Scream for Ice Cream, the ice cream parlor of horror champions, because Max wants a malted. Mmmm, malted! Nothing says loving like a malted! What’s my line again? Anyways, the ice cream shop owner and operator Olivia talks with Max and they have a conversation about monster cereals, you know, Count Chocula and Fruit Brute? This of course makes Evelyn jealous. Check out that sexy stud! Who wouldn’t be jealous of Fruit Brute? He’s oozing raw animal sex appeal in every marshmallow bite! Evelyn calls Olivia an ice cream snob, she thinks Max was flirting with Olivia, of which he CLAIMS that he wasn’t, and after that they talk at their apartment. She says she doesn’t want to lose him, and apologizes for being possessive. Max, being a wiener with no backbone, accepts her apology. Later she calls him at work telling him he has a surprise waiting for him, which was changing the whole apartment and taking down all of his old foreign horror movie posters. That bitch has got to go! Appalled and feeling completely helpless, he goes to Travis and complains about eating tofu all the time. He wants to leave her, but is afraid to break it off . Travis gives him some advice of how to get rid of Evelyn; go to a public place and dump her there. She gets excited and thinks he got her puppy, but nothing could be further from the truth. Upon arriving at the dog park she is hit by a bus. He blames himself for her death. Travis talks with Max and tries to cheer him up by telling him about a double show at the theater. She tells him that she broke up with a Born Again Christian and then invites him back to her ice cream shop and continues talking about her ex. After having some ice cream, they go to a cemetery and talk a bit more. Olivia finds it a peaceful and quiet place, and then they kiss. Ah, cemetery romance! That night Max hears a knock on his door. To his horror, it’s his undead ex- girlfriend. Nooooo!!!! Evelyn rising from the grave! He tries to convince himself that it’s a dream, but she keeps walking towards him. He tells her that she’s dead, but she doesn’t care and wants to have sex. Yikes! To make matters worse, Olivia shows up at his apartment and wants to be intimate with him (boy does this guy have problems!). But with an undead, pissed off, horny ex- girlfriend hiding in the bathroom, he has to tell her that he wants to take it slow and convinces her to leave. Evelyn demands to know who that was, and Max dodges the issue, saying it was Fed. Ex. In an homage to “Death Becomes Her” Evelyn falls in the bathroom and breaks her neck. She then stands up and fixes it like it doesn’t even hurt. And reasonably so at this point. It’s cool. I don’t need to go see an undead chiropractor for a broken neck. Max believes that the demonic genie statue at his work granted Evelyn’s wish and brought her back to un- life. Unfortunately, when he attempts to move it, the statue breaks. Desperate, Max reads an occult book about the undead, and then tries something mentioned in it to stop her. All it does is piss her off, and now she wants to kill him so that they can be together forever. Max attempts to placate her and suggests that they to go to a night club. There, Evelyn stars a fight with some Goth girls that were eyeing her man. Here her eyes literally glow red, either to indicate that she is pure evil, or that she is supernatural and cursed to exist as an undead jealous, possessive girlfriend. Ew! Those drapes just have to go! Max tries to take a break from Evelyn, but that doesn’t go over very well. That same day Olivia visits him at work and she brings him some family remedies for hangover, and mentions that she’s subletting the store next to her shop. They go to kiss each other, lending more credibility to their romantic urges, but they’re interrupted by an obnoxious phone call from his ex. Olivia, being more grounded in reality, tells Max that she won’t share him with his ex, and rightly so. Desperate, Max asks Travis for help, and Travis, being the good man that he is, offers to kill Evelyn for him. Am I right? Max goes to meet Olivia at the theater to catch a showing of “Night of the Living Dead”, while Travis goes to Max’s apartment and tells Evelyn that he’s there for his “Gore Gore Girls” DVD. Nooooo!!! I saved some entrails for you Max. I know that they’re your favorite. Max and Olivia consummate their relationship *ahem* and then Max goes home, only to find Evelyn there eating Travis. He calls 9- 1- 1 for help, but the operator doesn’t believe him. Desperate, he runs to the police station to report a murder. Meanwhile, Evelyn figures out that he’s been banging Olivia and sends her a rage text. No one gets to ridicule my pooky and hold him back in life but me! Moments later Evelyn goes to Olivia’s ice cream shop and attacks her. Max realizes that Olivia is in danger and goes to rescue her, telling her the truth about his ex, and explaining to Evelyn that he would never be happy living with her. Max has made his choice, he’s going to be with a living human being, rather than a possessive evil zombie. I say, good for him! Olivia helps Max when Evelyn tries to kill him. They stab her in the brain, but seeing as how she isn’t a zombie from a Romero film, it doesn’t work. During the struggle, the now freshly undead Travis shows up and runs a machete clear through her chest, killing her and ending the curse. I guess that type of zombie needed to be stabbed in the heart instead of the brain. Remember that you zombie fanatics! It could save your life some day! In the end, they bury Evelyn once more, and Max begs Olivia for another chance to be with her. Now that the evil ex if officially dead, he can put his past behind him and move forward with his life. Luckily, she agrees to give their relationship another chance. Max rents the place next to her ice cream shop, and his zombie half- brother Travis works as a sign spinner for his and Olivia’s business. So even though Travis was an ass and tried to take advantage of Max on several different occasions, in the end he pulls through and helps his brother. Not all jerks are complete jerks. And that’s a good thing. Awwww! Happy End! Total Views: 1. 78.
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